We come from the land of Kamasutra and yet, sex is a taboo. It’s a matter of shame, especially the disgrace associated with premarital sex. And, that is ridiculous. We’re not saying everyone should have premarital sex. Those who think they should wait it out shall, by all means. It’s a matter of personal preference, after all. All we are saying is that our society needs to be a lot more accepting about it. Here’s why we need stop making premarital sex such a big deal.
1. India is a grossly sex-starved nation. Sex is believed to be exclusive to married people in India. A lot of Indian men see marriage as a license to have sex. And that’s sad. People are getting married only so they can have guilt-free sex. It has two consequences – one, they choose their partners for the wrong reasons. Secondly, they feel entitled to have sex whenever they want once they’re married because they’ve been told that’s what marriages are for.
2. We’re humans and it’s a basic instinct to want to have sex. It’s healthy and perfectly normal. We need to stop treating sex like a ‘prize’ that we get only once we get married.
3. Physical intimacy is as important as emotional connect. No matter how many of you may shudder at the thought of this, but sexual compatibility plays a huge role in a relationship. Bad sex can ruin a marriage, and it’s always better to know what you’re getting yourself into.
4. We need to stop thinking that our dignity lies between our legs. Losing our virginity doesn’t make us any less worthy of respect than virgins. It doesn’t ruin our integrity as a person. It’s okay to not end up with someone you’ve had sex with. It’s not immoral.
5. Tell a child not to touch something, and he will, the moment you turn around. We should not make a big deal out of premarital sex for the simple reason that the more you stop people from doing something, the more you make them want to do it. Indian society has been unknowingly and unnecessarily creating a big mystery around sex – giving it more importance than it actually deserves. That approach has clearly backfired. We need to stop being so afraid of humans having sex.
6. Sex is not what marriages stand for. Times are changing, and people today, want to take time to focus on their careers before they decide to settle down. Some of us don’t even believe in the idea of marriage, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t believe in relationships or companionship. To deprive a person from exploring his sexuality till he gets married just doesn’t make sense.
7. No matter how much this may scandalize you, truth be told, people who want to have premarital sex, have it anyway. Not acknowledging the truth doesn’t change the truth. The society needs to open its eyes and step out of its denial mode.
8. We know a lot of you will hate us for this piece because you think we’re ‘promoting’ premarital sex and ‘ruining’ Indian ‘culture’. We’re doing none of these. Times have changed and people have evolved. What made sense once may not necessarily hold valid now. Culture should be ever-evolving. It was this very Indian culture that suppressed women, burnt widows alive in the name of sati, and promoted child marriages. But things changed, and for the better. By being so resistant to every change, we’re only stagnating and suffocating our own people.