As most matrimonial ads typically go by the, “fair, slim and homely girl needed for a well-settled boy” phrase, women’s demands have undergone a drastic change. “Tall, dark and handsome” has now been replaced by “broadminded, understanding and a good cook.” While both men and women are known to fantasise about their prospective spouses, what makes it more exciting are the expectations they have.
Women, in recent times, are known to outnumber men in listing out modern expectations from their prospective spouse, cooking being one of them.
In a recent survey conducted by a matrimonial website, a whopping 51.9 per cent women said that they want their prospective spouses to help in household chores, while 39.5 per cent want a spouse with culinary skills. Marriage counsellor Vedika Shreshtha, says, “The modern woman is independent, smart and speaks her heart, that makes her demands different from the stereotypes. Hence, if she thinks her prospective spouse should fulfill certain criteria, why not?”
She also adds, “Remember those days when prospective grooms would come to the bride’s home to see her walk and talk? Modern-age women are not just rendering this trend as passe but are paving a new path to have a stronger wedlock with better transparency.” Both men and women discover different things about themselves after marriage. It is often observed that these things are mostly shocks and not surprises. A guy who seemed open-minded when you met during courtship, suddenly seems an alien after staying together for a few days. Hence, these criteria when laid out before marriage can clear the air between the couple.
“We, too, have long working hours, in fact, sometimes even longer than men, and our jobs are as stressful. Hence, if I expect my husband to help me with the household chores, what’s so annoying about it? If he can expect me to be by his side during highs and lows, can’t I expect such a small thing from him,” says Bijalpita Dasgupta, an engineer by profession. Many feel that men who know cooking can be great companions for life, as they believe in sharing the simple joys in life like giving your better half a deserving break from the kitchen.
Ranjeeta Kalyanchandmooda, a wedding counsellor, feels that undergoing an HIV test and a fertility test before weddings is not just a criteria, it should be a mandate. “STDs are very common these days, and it could affect anyone anytime. If the person’s medical conditions are prior known to the spouse, the person can be treated accordingly, and a right decision of marrying the person or not, will be solved easily. It also relieves women from being in the blame game of being unable to bear a child, etc,” says Ranjeeta.
Opening up about your liabilities and investments to your partner will make it simpler. “It will not just make the couple feel secure about each other, but also work in case of emergencies since the other half knows the kind of savings they have,” says Amit Dharia, a financial advisor.
What women want from men
They should know how to cook
They should help with household chores
They should readily undergo an HIV test prior to marriage
They should admit to not feeling financially insecure if a woman earns well, and keep their male ego aside.
Be open to talk about sex and also experiment.
Have a staunch opinion against dowry even if it is stated in customs.
Give enough ‘me’ time.
Never encourage any comparison with the mother-in-law.
Women love all kind of surprises be it a long drive on the highway, rich chocolates, gifts or flowers. With women you are sure to score brownie points with this move.
What do the deodorant ads on TV tell you? Well, the agencies might be going overboard with all the adulterous publicity but, trust me, half your battle is won by smelling good alone! Choose your deos and perfumes carefully and don’t try to be experimental if you are meeting someone for the first time.
Do not force the idea of having children.
Never ask to give up careers.